and I woke up today thinking it was all just a bad dream.
I even asked Kyle when I opened my eyes if it were true.
But he reminded me that it was....sadly.
And all day today I felt like I was in a fog.
Constantly checking my phone for news, and answers.
Feeling completely powerless and absolutely speechless.
The only comfort really was silence.
And while I am here with the family I have been so completely blessed beyond measure to share my life with,
there are people I love dearly struggling with this heartache.
And it makes me so sad that I can't fix that.
Talking about it, in generalities, feels safe.
Because what actually happened really isn't meant to be written as a good blog read or a great story to tell your friends.
It's meant to be protected,
they are meant to be protected.
Life can be rough.
Moments that you look at and say "why?" and "How could this have happened?"
Moments that completely unearth the ground you walk on.
But in all sadness and confusion there is an ultimate lesson.
A greater reason for what has happened.
I have to believe that.
Thanks for letting me vent.