Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Unconditional Parenting

This morning I woke up really tired.

Ayden started sleep walking and was mumbling about bees in his bed. The other night it was spiders... I'm pretty sure he is having night terrors. Scary thing for a 5 year old.

So I laid next to him to sooth him, and he tossed and turned all night.
Leaving me wide awake at 1:30.

But there is something so magical about being awake when the whole house is sleeping.

And it left me some time to think.

I've been reading this great book called Unconditional Parenting,
and it's opened my eyes to a lot of the ways society has programmed parents to discipline and love our kids. Some points are a little to extreme for me, but some ring so true. 

The author bases his research on what he calls, "Conditional Parenting." Which is all based on rewards and contigent on behavior. And how we as parents don't really teach our children what it means when they make a bad decision, instead we punish and we move on, leaving them uncapable of understanding why they did what they did and that you still love them regardless of their behavior. 

It's pretty mindblowing how much our relationship towards our children effects them for the rest of their lives. Which is why I don't take it lightly and am always trying to read different ways to approach being a mom.

We aren't always going to make the right decisions and we will make mistakes but it's our responsibitly to create an enviroment of love, peace and security for them. They deserve it.

I haven't finished the book yet, but I love where it's headed.

What are some of your go to parenting books?


Amanda said...

Love my "Love and Logic".

juliana said...

Loving your kids on purpose by danny silk. Beautiful book