Beach Babes

Before Christmas I was able to spend a day with 2 of my best friends at the beach on an incredibly beauitful day.

The day honestly felt magical.

And the beach was breathtaking.
It made me really miss the summer...I am already counting down the days!

Trust

I've hit the 4 month mark at my new job,

and I have to say honestly...it's not getting any easier.

There are some women who love working,

they love the independence, the money, the confidence their job brings...

and me,

well not so much.

I truly loved being able to stay at home.

I loved how lucky I was to be the one to care for my kids each day.

And I feel bitterness towards life and all the responsibilities it brings, for taking that away from us.

The day before I started my first day I was crying in bed thinking how sad I was that I wasn't going to be the one to wake Lucas up from his nap or see Ayden's smiling face when I picked him up from Kindergarten.

Those lil' moments haunt me each day.

It's so hard when you make a decision as a family that in order to make it,

mommy's got to go back to work.

All the sacrifices and guilt that it brings, is numbing.

You can't help but feel slighted.

When you've prayed so hard,

and wanted something so bad...

that it just doesn't happen.

Which is why this year I'm learning to trust more.

And not be so completely driven by guilt.

Because at the end of the day,

I know I'm still a great mom

and my world revolves around them.

And now I'm able to help them out each day in a different way.

 

NY Resolutions

New Years Resolutions can be so cheesy,

but I love them anway.

It feels good to give youreslf a fresh start at something.

A break from the difficulties of the past year.

You can begin again.

And that is such a great feeling.

So my resolution for 2012 is too:

1) Love more

2) Trust more

4) Be the person I was made to be.

because I have so much to live for.

Happy New Year Friends!

NY Weekend

I am always so grateful for the extra time I have at home these days.
And a 4 day weekend is just what I needed over the New Year's Eve holiday to live life.

My dear ol' dad had promised the boys a trip to his house sometime during their Christmas break and over the weekend they got their wish, and my dad got more than he promised for! My boys know how to have a good time! They wore him out!

With the boys away Kyle & I got to do a few trips solo...we always have so much fun together. 

But not having my trio all together to ring in the new year made it feel like something was missing. So I'm gonna plan a surprise new year's party this Saturday just so we can have our own celebration!

We filled our weekend with 2 trips to the Honda Center to see the Ducks play (nothing like watching your favorite team get completely trampled by the opposite team) and a ton of time with friends.

Which honestly, I've needed SO MUCH lately.

My turn...

My beautiful carefree friend Carynn tagged me in an "about me" post...
so here goes.


1. What's the most important thing you learned from your mother?

My mom is a fighter. She has won so many battles in life: cancer, child abuse, poverty and she continues to show me faith and grace in all she does.

2. How did you/will you know you're with the right one?

I've known my husband since I was 16. Always friends, nothing more and one day something happened. I knew he was the won that was created in this world for me to love. He was/is my future.

3. What has been the most beautiful moment in your life this far?

The day each of my boys were born. I'll never do anything more amazing in my life than that. I felt like a superhero!

4. What do you believe is the coolest thing about women?

That we create life!

5. How do you get yourself to feel better when you're having an "ugly day?"

Red lipstick and a apple fritter from Starbucks.

6. What is the most beautiful thing about you?

Why is this the hardest question to answer? :)
Probably my heart...or red hair.

7. Who loves you?

My family and a few cherished friends in my life.

8. Why do you keep a blog?

To remember my most beautiful moments in life, which I'm sure I'll forget a few one day!

9. What song do you sing the loudest to in your car? (Post a youtube video!)

The Avett Brothers rock my world right now and this song makes me want to marry my husband again just so we can dance to this song!

10. Where do you go when you need to get away?

The gym or Target.

11. When do you think you became a grown-up?

I'm still waiting for that to happen and I'm 31. Maybe 99.


So now I tag each of my readers!
If you post answers to these questions on your blog, come back and post a link. I'd love to read them all!

Xmas Kids

I hope you had a great Christmas!!

Xmas Morning

Christmas morning is always such a whirlwind!
This was our first time celebrating Christmas in our new place.
But honestly we could all be in a carboard box under a pepper tree and it would feel like home. Crowded but comfy.

This year the boys got blessed with some pretty awesome stuff.
A few highlights were their brand new Ducks Hockey Jersies and new Nintendos.

Something I struggle so much with as a parent is raising children who are humble and appreciate all the awesome blessings that come their way, so when they say "thank you" and truly mean it...it rocks my world!

Here is a lil' glimpse into our morning:

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve was awesome!

We spent the day with our families, ate WAY too much food, got some pretty amazing presents and laughed a ton!

I'm realizing the older I get the more I see how incredibly talented my dad is in the "art of Christmas."
He would be a great Santa!

What made the day so special for me was hearing a beautiful letter my grandma wrote about a few people in our family who she wanted to honor for being "do-gooders."
And Brandon made the list...along with my amazing cousin Jeremy.
They both are pretty awesome souls and it was such a great moment to appreciate them for loving others!