Unconditional Parenting

This morning I woke up really tired.

Ayden started sleep walking and was mumbling about bees in his bed. The other night it was spiders... I'm pretty sure he is having night terrors. Scary thing for a 5 year old.

So I laid next to him to sooth him, and he tossed and turned all night.
Leaving me wide awake at 1:30.

But there is something so magical about being awake when the whole house is sleeping.

And it left me some time to think.

I've been reading this great book called Unconditional Parenting,
and it's opened my eyes to a lot of the ways society has programmed parents to discipline and love our kids. Some points are a little to extreme for me, but some ring so true. 

The author bases his research on what he calls, "Conditional Parenting." Which is all based on rewards and contigent on behavior. And how we as parents don't really teach our children what it means when they make a bad decision, instead we punish and we move on, leaving them uncapable of understanding why they did what they did and that you still love them regardless of their behavior. 

It's pretty mindblowing how much our relationship towards our children effects them for the rest of their lives. Which is why I don't take it lightly and am always trying to read different ways to approach being a mom.

We aren't always going to make the right decisions and we will make mistakes but it's our responsibitly to create an enviroment of love, peace and security for them. They deserve it.

I haven't finished the book yet, but I love where it's headed.

What are some of your go to parenting books?

16 months

(Enjoying his first donut)

Lucas is 16 months old and a full fledged kid!!

Right now we are enjoying watching him grow up right before our eyes. And asking ourselves, where did our baby go?

He watches his big brothers so carefully,
and as one does one thing the others follow like a row of dominos.
I think it's universal brother code.

Each day is filled with, "No's" and "Stop that's."
Cuts, bruises and kisses.

And each night, well, he's cutting molars right now, can climb out of his crib and has decided he no longer wants to sleep in his room...so they are fun filled nights of zero sleep.

But I tell myself morning after morning that all this hard work WILL PAY OFF! Oh it better!

Don't let this post fool you,
or his sweet smile.
My heart belongs to Lucas, and all the fun we get into each day.

But I'm really looking forward to the night where I get at least 6 hours of straight uninterrupted sleep..ahhhh, dreams!

Do-Over

Wow.
Today was a rough one.
By 9:30 am I was begging for it to be over.


Ayden broke one of my favorite glasses.
Which can't be replaced.
And glass shattered everywhere.
Lucas was screaming.
I had enough dishes in my sink to circle the planet.
Laundry was everywhere.
Glass was everywhere.
I grabbed Ayden (he was on the counter) & told him to go to his room. 


He yelled at me & told me that "You're a bad mommy."


>>>? Those words are so hard to hear, even though I know he doesn't mean it. 


Then it was Lucas's turn.
You see some serious bad habits have been formed with my baby boy.
Not entirely his fault.
Partly mine, and partly because our house just doesn't fit our families needs anymore and that leaves Lucas pretty close to a refugee. 
My bed, his crib, back room, boys room...it's tiring.


But today I started a new routine, which he did not like and that fight lasted a really long time.


After his nap, we headed to Walmart. I really should have stayed at home.
Have I told you how much I detest Walmart?
Well, I do.
And today especially.
Last minute Christmas shopping and Walmart should never be together in a sentence ever.
So while battling the masses, Lucas found my dish soap and dumps the entire bottle all over my cart. All over him. And all over me.
Deep breaths.
Then Ayden starts coughing.
and coughing.
and coughing.
and coughing.
Enter asthma attack.
I don't have his inhaler.
I don't have his breathing machine.
And I have to pick up Brandon in 10 minutes.


So here I am covered in soap.
With a cart covered in soap (things I really needed).
A soapy baby, 
and a boy who is having an asthma attack.


I felt so alone at that moment.


I quickly grabbed a coke (caffeine works),
gave it to Ayden
and left.


I did make it to pick up Brandon, 
which when you're having a really hard day it's the little accomplishments that count.




I'm looking forward to Thursday :) 

Motherhood

Sometimes I think a lot about all the sacrifices mothers make.

We are servants to our family,

and sometimes our work goes unnoticed.

Countless hours are spent wiping butts, doing dishes, doing laundry,

making beds, cooking meals, saying prayers, reading stories, teaching,

and modeling.

All for the sake of our children.

These mundane tasks, these ordinary moments,

sometimes make each day feel a lot like groundhog day.

But motherhood is an art.

And we are the makers of our home.

Every inch of it.

And we get these beautiful people to raise up.

How lucky are we?

I might not have the best clothes, my toenail polish might be chipped,

and sadly, it's been a long time since I talked to a friend on the phone....

but at the end of the day I know that I worked hard for my family.

And that makes me feel so rewarded when I lay my head on the pillow at night.